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    談談我的“舊疾”

    發表時間:2019-07-04用戶:溫婉晴天閱讀:93
      【二零一九年七月四日有感】
      有一段時間沒有在文字站上寫文章了,一直以來我都很感謝文字站,能夠讓我說說我自己的心里話,這是七月份我在文字站上發表的第一篇文章,原本我不想寫這篇文章的,不想把壞情緒帶給其他人,但我實在是憋不住了,因此我才寫下了這篇文章,畢竟今天這一個電話,等將來也是我的回憶,而我喜歡把自己的回憶記錄在我的文集《溫婉憶惜(昔)》中。
      今天下午的一個電話,讓我突然覺得,有時候精神上的折磨要比肉體上的折磨更疼,有時候現實的殘酷要把一個人逼瘋。曾經聽到有人說過,在挫折和磨難的面前,我們應該學會面對,而不是選擇逃避。
      今天是一個晴天,原本我的心情還不錯,中午在奶奶家吃了玉米、葡萄和桃子,想著調皮的妹妹在奶奶家里不安分的情景,在家里一邊做事一邊聽著喜歡的歌曲,感覺頗有意思。只是這好心情在接到成都神康癲癇專科醫院的一個醫生打來的電話,讓我心里十分難受和糾結,因為我身患癲癇,她跟我談了關于這種疾病方面的話題,她希望我的父母能夠帶我去他們醫院檢查一下,其中提及了我的父母,并且問我心里是怎么想的,最后問我父母心里怎么想的,這些問題,都讓我一時之間不知道如何回答,不知道如何是好,讓我心里十分敏感。
      說真的,我很不喜歡被醫生一而再再而三提醒我是個癲癇患者的這件事情的這種感覺,雖然事實不允許我選擇逃避,但我一時之間還是不知道怎么和那位醫生交流才好,其實她已經打過幾次電話給我了,每一次都希望我能去他們醫院做做檢查,而且她還打過我母親的電話。這讓我心里更加的無措。作為我本人來說,自然是希望能夠康復,遠離癲癇病。沒有誰會希望自己疾病纏身,沒有誰愿意被疾病折磨,對吧?
      為什么我會如此的無措,為什么這個電話會讓我如此的難受?主要原因自然是因為我所身患的癲癇病,是一種難纏的疾病,它不像我之前所患過的膽結石,動一次手術就能消失的無影無蹤。
      我常常安慰自己要淡然,因為我的微信名溫婉晴天,所以我寫了一個個性簽名:溫婉一笑,晴天自來。希望能夠讓自己積極面對生活中的不愉快。曾經聽到有人安慰我,任何磨難都是上天對我們的考驗,我希望自己淡然、堅強,可是現在我卻感覺,如果一個人對任何人任何事都能做到淡然,那么他往往不是普通人,我感覺再堅強的人也會有脆弱的一面,沒有一個人會是無堅不摧的。
      我知道自己是一個癲癇患者,而且這種疾病也折磨我有十幾年了,我依然清楚的記得,曾經因為這種疾病,我被人嘲笑很多次,我在學校出丑過好很多次,我嚇到過我的一個室友,以至于她有一段時間沒有和我說過一句話。即使病情發作過很多次我沒有逃避過,因為我知道就算我想逃也無處可逃,我幾乎無處遁形,聽說這個病有可能會遺傳,我不愿意我的孩子和我一樣承受這個疾病的折磨,畢竟因為這個病,我感覺我失去了太多,留下了很多的遺憾,所以我從心里抗拒談婚論嫁,所以這也是我一直想要單身的原因。
      父親覺得成都路途遙遠,不愿意帶我去看,而目前為止我現在自己一個人是不能去的,電話里的醫生希望我能去這種病的專科醫院做個檢查,盡早治療避免影響以后的生活,聽著醫生的話,想著父親的想法,這讓我左右為難,心里很不是滋味,想著這些我的心里很亂很累。
      一般人不開心的時候,可以玩電腦看手機或者是抽煙喝酒,可是我卻不能長時間看手機和玩電腦,更加不能抽煙飲酒,所以只好選擇寫文章了。說心里話,我發現在寫完文章之后,我的心情好多了。
      我明白人,生就是就這樣,有得必有失,有失必有得,也是因為這個病,所以我的家人對我更加關照。可這樣,只會讓我心里更加愧疚。我知道一個人想活成什么樣子,最后靠的人還是自己,所以這也是我身患癲癇卻依然想出去掙錢的一個原因,我想讓我的人生變得精彩一點,而不是如同現在一樣,每天都是一成不變。
      我想著將來能夠靠自己賺的錢,去某個城市關于這類疾病的專科醫院做檢查,我希望有一天我能夠徹底的擺脫這種疾病的折磨。
      我想如果有一天我徹底擺脫了這種疾病的折磨,那該有多好啊!或許我的人生,真的如同我的名字一般,婉晴,婉和晚是同音字,婉晴即晚晴,我人生的晴天或許要晚點才能到來吧!
      ……
      (完)
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    溫婉晴天2019-07-14 06:29回復
    [//@白雨蓮]謝謝你的鼓勵!
    白雨蓮2019-07-13 14:35回復
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    本文用戶信息
    用戶昵稱:溫婉晴天
    文章總計:556
    個性簽名:溫婉一笑,晴天自來。
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